I know things aren’t going well for you. It seems like whatever was going on in Orlando has followed you to LA and all the bad vibes that went with it.
Dwight, some people think you’re a Jonah. Did you ever see Master and Commander, when the crew thought one guy was causing their problems and finally he drowned himself and all the problems went away? Thy called him a Jonah. I’m sure you’ve read the bible a lot, so you remember that Jonah was thrown off of a ship cause he was running from God’s will and causing everybody around him to suffer.
You aren’t a Jonah though. It doubt there is any benevolent will surrounding max contracts and free agency. That’s more the devil’s territory.
I’ve seen you play this whole season. And I’ve got to be honest with you, apart from the 2009 finals, I hadn’t seen you play all that much since the Lakers only played you twice a year. But everyone said you were dominant and frankly how could you be worse than Andrew Bynum going through puberty. So of course when I heard you were coming, i thought it would be the best thing ever.
I don’t need to say how wrong I was for thinking that, you’ve played most of the games, you know how big of a bust it’s been - how you and nash can’t run a pick and roll, or how you and Pau couldn’t dominate the boards and score off put backs. I saw the vacant stares during close games with bad opponents. I get it, you just want this season to be over. Me too.
But when I saw you in the All Star game, that’s when I finally realized how injured you’ve really been. I saw how even playing with Chris Paul and Russell Westbrook, you weren’t fastbreak dunking a billion times like Blake Griffin or blocking shots into the rafters.
Nope, in fact, you looked slow. Kind of lost. Kind of like you didn’t belong. Sure you drained that 3, that musta felt cool (Bosh airballed 2 of them). But the only other play i remember was Kobe getting you a pass for an easy, if unimpressive dunk. The guy you probably h8 the most in the league, fed you in the All Star Game.
And now it all makes sense to me. You aren’t Superman this year. Playing with all the superheros in the NBA Justice League - King James, Black Mamba, The Durantula, The Boshtrich - you sorta looked more like, a sidekick.
You don’t have any powers this year. Sure you look just fine. In shape, buff, smiling like always. From the outside looking in, the only thing it looks like you’ve lost is your will to compete. Which, is sort of what I thought it was during the first half of the season.
But now I think that, at least partially, you physically can’t compete. Not two years ago, you were Blake Griffin, only stronger, more dominant, more physical, more athletic. Set aside all that lame all star dunk contest superman BS, in actual games, you were a load.
You single-handedly beat up the Celtics when they were still good, kept Lebron out of the finals (thank you) and all around delivered on the promise of a guy defenses had to focus on stopping.
This year though, you’ve been playing below the rim. I saw you get defended by Kuame Brown and Jermaine O’Neal. Those guys suck. They’re just big bodies, but they pretty much kept you from doing anything on offense. Even though you complain about touches -and I definitely agree with you a lot of the time- sometimes they do get the ball to you on the block with a nobody behind you. In the past that would have been a single dribble and a dunk all over that dude. Now, more often than not you try some sort of hook shot and you are way way way too stiff to make that shot. Sometimes it’s like you are trying to throw it through the backboard not lightly into the hole.
But you know that. I hope you get better, I really do. Despite the horrible season this has been for all Laker fans, and the strong possibility you will split when the splittin is good, I hope you recover 100 percent. The league needs powerhouse post guys. I mean Blake Griffin has some tight fastbreak dunks, but he’s about as effective in the post as you are at shooting 3’s. Other than you, Dwight, everybody else is about fastbreaks and shooting 3’s (except Uncle Drew, that guy is awesome).
So, sorry for getting on you about whining and not wanting to help the lakers win, you’re hurt, I get it. Try to forget about this season in the summer, work way way way harder at getting a great post game and get healthy so you can dominate guys like Kendrick Perkins. I seriously h8 that guy.
Get serious dude, nobody except my girlfriend likes it when you smile.